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A Worldview Workout
Eating right and exercising are great things. But sometimes, we can focus on them a bit too much — turning a wise choice into foolish attitudes. Denise talks about the struggles she's had with eating and exercise — and what it looks like to focus on the right way to eat.
Sick, Tired and Dangerous
For some reason, God seems to be keeping me from physical activity this winter. Now, normally that would just be my excuse not to work out — God told me that I need a break from exercising. Sit-ups are a distraction from Bible reading…
But this year, it seems to be true. Let's take a little gander at the facts:
I've been seriously sick four times since right before Christmas. A lovely flu-type bug hit me first, then I came down with tonsillitis. Next came an ear infection, and right now I'm getting over a harsh cough/cold. Now let's ignore the fact that I apparently only get illnesses that are usually reserved for children, and move on to the heart of the matter: I've been too sick to work out much this winter.
Skiing, one of my favorite winter activities is usually a safe bet for some calorie burning and fun times. Unfortunately, I'm jinxed in that area as well this year. Every time I've tried to go, something bad has happened. Here's what my pitiful season has looked like so far:
Skiing Day One: First run of the day with my co-worker, Ryan. He kindly swerves to avoid a child, falls hard and breaks his collarbone. Done skiing for the day.
Skiing Day Two: My friends and I get up at 6 a.m. and drive three hours to the ski resort, only to discover that my pass has been blocked out for the day. It's either go home or buy an $86 day pass. We head home — I ain't got no money, folks.
Skiing Day Three: Beautiful, sunny day. Warm weather. The slopes are great. Things are going well. Run into my ex-boyfriend. Enough said.
Skiing Day Four: Things go wonderfully for the whole morning. My friends and I enjoy a great lunch and some super-fast runs down the mountain. We decide to head down to the base. My friend accidentally does a double jump, falls and gets a concussion and lacerates her liver. Lacerates her liver, people. Spend the rest of the day and the next in the hospital.
As I've just quite adequately shown, physical activity and I have not been very good friends these past few months. I'm either too sick to get out of bed, or I'm the common denominator in skiing tragedies. No good.
Working Out is Hard to Do
Normally (when I am not ill or causing skiing accidents) I try to workout a few times a week. This is not because I am in love with working out — it is more because I have to work out in order to stay semi-in-shape.
Every once in awhile I set a big workout goal — last summer I ran a half marathon, and this spring I'm thinking of training for a sprint triathlon. These kinds of things don't come naturally, however. If I set a goal, I have to work hard and convince myself that it's worth keeping.
I think these kinds of workout goals are good. They keep me focused and they help me stay in shape. There's nothing wrong with a little exercise, and the extra weight around my belly will testify that I need it.
Every once in awhile, though, my exercise and eating stipulations get a bit out of hand.
When It Goes A Bit Too Far
I know anorexia and bulimia are very serious, and the people who struggle with them often need treatment and medical advice. My struggles with body image have been a bit more subtle, but distracting nonetheless.
During college, I got on a big workout kick — I would spend at least an hour and a half in the workout room every day. This, in itself, was not a problem at all. The problem was that I had to do it every day. If I didn't, guilt would overcome me and I would begin to stress about the calories I had failed to burn. I would berate myself for failing to exercise and vow to work out even harder the next day.
This type of attitude has affected my eating as well. I've gone through numerous stages in life when I've counted the calories I eat in order to lose weight. Again, I don't think this is necessarily bad. There is lots of information about the number of calories you should take in each day in order to maintain or lose weight. To do that, you have to know what you're eating and what kind of fat and calorie content it has. Calorie counting is not an evil thing.
It has, however, gotten out of control for me in the past. I've spent a lot of time obsessing over food labels, serving sizes and fat grams. If I didn't know how many calories something had, I wouldn't eat it. Sometimes I would purposely eat fewer calories than my body needed in order to lose weight faster. If I felt hungry, I would drink a diet soda or chew some gum — eating extra calories was an unforgivable sin.
Every great once in awhile, I would even make myself throw up after eating more than I thought I should — the guilt I would feel about overeating would overwhelm me and force me into the bathroom to get rid of the excess calories.
Although these things have not become lasting problems for me, I am not immune to them either. The desire to control my weight, to control the way I look, still sneaks in every once in awhile. The TV ads, the movie stars — they still sneakily influence my thoughts. Although I know all the right things about being created in God's image, the lies about who I need to be can still be very convincing.
Sneaky Sins
Although poor body image can be an issue for me, I have come to realize that it (like most things) is a warped way of keeping attention on myself. When I become obsessed with eating and exercise, I guarantee you that 99 percent of my day is focused on me — what I look like, what I'm going to eat, what type of workout I'm going to do, what size I'm fitting into and so on. The focus on me never ends. It has even stifled my community experience — I will avoid hanging out with others if it cuts into my workout schedule.
When any of this begins, it doesn't feel like self-absorption. It's harmless enough for awhile — my goal is just to be healthy. But little by little (like so many of the sins we deal with) I direct all my attention toward myself and my food and exercise obsession.
Sin, I have discovered, can be a sneaky thing. Something can start out honorably — earning money, being healthy, being self-confident, and so on. But, if not reigned in, these good things can morph into greed, obsession and narcissism.
The Right Perspective
I am not saying that working out and eating right are bad things. They are good things, and I think it's important to stay healthy. As we've mentioned on TrueU before, part of obeying God's call to choose life is to live healthy lives. And I also understand that for some, food has become an enemy that cannot be conquered without help from others.
C O F F E E S H O PI hope that once I'm over my sore throats and the skiing season is safely behind me, I can get out there and be active once again. But I need to be careful not to let a desire to be thin overtake my thoughts. It can quickly become an obsession — a focus that is unhealthy, and ultimately, one that keeps me from time that should be spent loving God and loving others.
Denise Morris is an Editor for TrueU.org and authors content for the Women's Hall and Student Lounge. Denise earned a Bachelor of Arts degree in journalism and Spanish from the University of St. Thomas. She has written and edited for some small and some large publications; spent time in Spain learning how to make tapas; cheers for Minnesota sports teams (especially the Timberwolves); likes to debate; and enjoys spending time with friends and/or enemies.
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