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Bambi and the Bible: Thoughts on the Power of Words

Umm …You've Got Some Lettuce in Your Teeth

Have you ever had one of those days where you walked out your door thinking you looked pretty darn good? Your hair finally seemed to have resigned itself to your authority, your new anti-zit cream seemed to be working like a charm, and those new heels made your legs look impressively slim and trim. You smiled confidently at everyone you passed as you strutted your stuff, only to find that you'd been walking around with lettuce in your teeth all day. Ouch.

Realizing you have a flaw, particularly one that you've always looked down on and felt quite proud to be free of, is kind of like finding out you've had a nice big green tooth all day.

The Lettuce in My Teeth

I speak from experience. A few months back I realized that contrary to my confident belief that I was A-OK in the area of gossip, I did in fact have a problem with sometimes being careless with my words.

Now, let me explain what my views on gossip had been up until this time. When I heard the word "gossip," I pictured two things: 1. Mean Girls and 2. Rachel Lynd from Anne of Green Gables and other such gray-haired old ladies in ugly floral print dresses sitting around discussing things that are none of their business.

If I had written the dictionary, my definition of the verb "gossip" would have looked something like this:

1. Making completely cruel and vicious statements about others just for fun.
2. Spreading false stories about others out of spite.
3. Probing for information that is not your business.

Naturally, then, my daily conversation didn't qualify as gossip, because I am not exactly a cliquey, popular snob whose favorite hobby is ruining other people's lives by spreading rumors. Nor am I an old lady with nothing better to do than keep up with other people's personal lives.

Gossip Defined

Since that is the framework I was working within, I always more or less skimmed over all those proverbs about careless words, slander and backbiting tongues. I gave them a polite nod, but never actually mulled them over or applied them to my own life.

Then, I read a quote by Amy Carmichael that brought me to the uncomfortable realization that while I might not be a rumor-spreading back-stabber, my words often fell quite far short of "good for edification" (Ephesians 4:29, NKJV). Here's what Amy had to say:

If, in any way, I belittle those I am called to serve … if I talk of their weak points in contrast, perhaps, with what I think of as my stronger points … if I can easily discuss the shortcomings or the sins of any man or woman … if I can speak in an off-handed way, even of a child's wrongdoing … Then I know nothing of Calvary love.¹

Even by the standards of the good old dictionary, my conversation choices often looked disturbingly similar to gossip. Check out how Dictionary.com defines gossip:

gos•sip: noun, verb

noun

1. idle talk or rumor, esp. about the personal or private affairs of others.
2. light, familiar talk or writing.
3. Also, gos•sip•er, gos•sip•per. a person given to tattling or idle talk.

verb (used without object)

1. to talk idly, esp. about the affairs of others; go about tattling.

verb (used with object)

1. Archaic. to repeat like a gossip.

What God Says

Amy Carmichael's quote inspired me to take another look at what the Bible has to say about the words we choose. Here's a small sampling of what I discovered:

"A wise man's heart guides his mouth, and his lips promote instruction. Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones" (Proverbs 16:23-24, NIV).

"A man who lacks judgment derides his neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his tongue" (Proverbs 11:12).

"If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless" (James 1:26).

"So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets" (Matthew 7:12).

These verses combined with Carmichael's quote started to convict me about some of the things I said about others. I felt my conscience pricked when I commented on how so-and-so is such a slacker at practice. I felt wrong for laughing at that one annoying kid in class. I realized how shallow and useless it is to comment on how that girl's outfit is so ridiculous or on how that guy is such a player.

Now, as you read this you might be thinking, "Why on earth is TrueU letting someone so shallow and catty write for them?!" Hopefully I haven't let you down so much² that you miss my point: While spreading cruel rumors and nosing around to find out the latest juicy information about Jack and Jill most certainly qualify as gossip, that's not all that gossip is. Recall that the dictionary lists talking idly as gossip.

But Wait, There's More!

Let me take it a step further. Our words don't even have to fall into the category of "gossip" to be wrong. If you search the Bible for the standards by which God measures our words, you'll find that we're called to a much higher standard than "mind your own business."

Rather than just saying we shouldn't be cruel, God tells us that all our words should be good for edification (Ephesians 4:29). Rather than merely commanding that we shouldn't lie, He commends the man who speaks truth (Psalm 15:2). Rather than simply saying that we ought to avoid slander, Paul goes so far as to say that we should clothe ourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience (Colossians 3:8, 12) as well as encourage and build one another up (1 Thessalonians 5:11).

Here's the kicker: Jesus rebuked the Pharisees and told them that they would have to give an account for every careless word spoken (Matthew 12:36). Does this mean that on judgment day, we'll all line up and spend half of eternity (oh, wait … can eternity be split in half?) waiting for our turn to go up and have a little chat with God (in front of everyone else who has ever lived) about all those careless things we said? I'm no Bible scholar, but I think it'll probably look a little different than that.³

Whatever "giving an account" means, I think the important message to take from this verse is simply this: God takes our words seriously. Each and every one of them. And if He does, we should not only take them just as seriously, but seek to understand why what we say is so important.

The Heart of the Matter

There is obviously a time and a place for discussing relevant issues with the appropriate people; you may need advice on how to handle a situation or you may be the one others come to for counsel. How do we walk this fine line? To find the answer, I'd encourage you to look at Philippians 2, which outlines the ideal way in which Christians should relate to one another.

Paul exhorts the Philippians to be like minded, to have the same love, and to be unified. He urges them to "consider others better than yourselves" (v. 3) and to imitate Christ's attitude, that God might be glorified. If this is his vision for the church, we ought to filter our every word by asking, "Does this encourage others? Does it demonstrate a Christ-like love? Does it contribute to the unity of the body of Christ? Does it glorify God?" If the answer is no, then it is probably something that should be left unsaid.

As Thumper said in Bambi, "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothin' at all."

They'll Know You Are Christians by Your Love for One Another

C O F F E E  S H O P

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How can you better use your words to encourage others?

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The question, then, is not how close we can get to the line of gossip without crossing it, but rather how we can use our words to encourage and bless others. I don't want to just be known as someone who's not a gossip; I want to be known as a woman whose words are sweet to the soul and bring healing. I want my words to flow from the love that marks us as God's own (John 13:35).