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Working Women

Hooray for Learning!

I have always been someone who enjoys school and learning. Perhaps that makes me a nerd (an awesome nerd, obviously) but that's OK.

I currently have a bachelor's degree, but I would love to earn my Master's some day. I don't so much care about having an advanced degree — I just want to know more things. To me, learning is interesting and fun. This is part of why I enjoy my job. I get to write about and struggle through tough subjects. What could be better?!

All of this to say, I have some thoughts about one of the conversations started a couple months ago in the Women's Hall section of the Coffee Shop: women who work after having children.¹

From College to Career to Carriage?

When I was in college, I was very aware of the fact that my education cost about $100,000, and yet, my main goal — not my only goal, but my main goal — was to be a wife and mother. Is this money being wasted? I asked myself. Will this degree be useful to me for more than a couple of years after college?

I think this is a legitimate concern for a lot of Christian women. What does education and career look like for me once I have kids? Can I continue to work? Is it OK for me to make more money than my husband? The practical application of the answers to these questions may be a ways down the road for many of you, but now is the time to think about them since you're currently wracking up debt on that fancy education.

Just so you all know, I'm not setting out to write this article as though I have the correct answers for women struggling with these questions. I have not fully resolved the issue in my own mind, since I have not yet reached the point where it applies to me. (Although, to be honest, I don't think I will even want to work a full-time job once I have kids. Taking care of children plus working at a job 40 hours a week does not sound all that appealing to me. I don't get enough naps as it is.) Perhaps there is not one right answer to this issue, but there are plenty of factors (biblical and practical) that we women should be considering.

Passions and Paychecks

In today's society, college is a given for lots of men and women. It's just what you do. We choose majors based on our passions, and some passions garner more money than others. (Mine is apparently not worth all that much.) This means that some women will make more money than some men — if you are a doctor and your husband is a teacher, you'll be bringing in more dough than your man. And though she's not a doctor, I have a friend who is "supporting" her husband while he's in school. He's not currently bringing in any money, so she's the breadwinner in the family. Is this bad, or wrong?

Personally, I don't think so. Our society values certain jobs over others. If God has given you certain talents and gifts, I do not think it's always wise to ignore them just so your husband can make more money than you.

Women in the Israelite Workplace²

There are some biblical examples of women who seemed to be working outside of the home. I will first point to my old friend, Mrs. Proverbs 31. This lady is hardcore. She plants vineyards, provides food for her family, buys fields, dresses her family in scarlet, and so on. Basically, she never quits. It seems as though she takes care of her family (a traditional woman's role) and also deals in business.

Lydia (mentioned in Acts 16) was "a dealer in purple cloth." While I'm not sure if she had a family or not, she was obviously a working woman who had a very lucrative business. (Purple cloth was hard to come by and often worn by royalty. Hmm. Just a coincidence that I happen to be wearing a purple shirt today? Probably not — just call me Queen Denise.)

Acts 18:1-3 talks about Aquila and his wife, Priscilla. It says that they were tent makers — indicating that Priscilla helped out with the business.

I doubt that it was common for women to work outside of the home during these times, but there are examples — at least a few — of women who seem to be doing more than caring for their families.

However, there are biblical standards for the roles men and women are to play within marriage. Ephesians 5 talks quite clearly about the roles of husbands and wives — brace yourselves, girls, this may be uncomfortable:

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their won bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. (Ephesians 5:22-28, NIV)

Now, I do feel that this passage is fairly clear in saying that women should submit to their husbands, and also that men should lead and love their wives. However, I think this can look different depending on the couple. For the husband to be the head of the wife, does that mean he has to make more money than the wife? Or, can he still have that headship if his wife is a doctor and he is a struggling freelance writer?

For a husband to love his wife as himself, I think he should be at least willing to provide for all of her needs. First Timothy 5:8 makes it pretty clear that men have a responsibility to provide for their families. But, in my opinion, this does not mean that he must be the only one making money.

The Honor of Sacrifice

Ladies, as we consider this topic, I think it's wise for us to remember that there are seasons in life. Most of us will have quite a few years on this earth, and we'll do a number of different things at different times. Many of us will go to school, work, get married, have children, mentor, travel, and so on. Sometimes these things will overlap, and at other times they won't. Just because you're not doing something at one time — say you quit working for a while when you have children — does not mean that you can never do it again.

I also believe it is crucial to remember — when considering careers, education, marriage and family (or anything else for that matter) — that sacrifice is not a bad thing. When we live biblically, we are all required to give of ourselves at one point or another. This is an honorable virtue.

I don't personally have a hard and fast rule when it comes to moms working outside of the home or the possibility of a woman making more money than her husband. What I think is crucial is our attitude in these situations. Why do we want to do things the way we do? How is this situation glorifying to God? Am I doing my best to do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than myself? (Philippians 2:3)

C O F F E E  S H O P

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What do you think about the role of the working woman after marriage and children?

Join the discussion!

When it comes down to it, I don't know that there's a definitive right or wrong answer here. What's important is having hearts that are willing to yield to the Lord's will for our lives. In my mind, this issue (along with most others) comes back down to the command to love the Lord above all else, and secondly, to love our neighbor (husband, children and so on) as ourselves.