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Sorority Sister

The Shift in Sororities

Back to school: As a child, that meant a new teacher, a new classroom with newly decorated bulletin boards, new pencils, and a new lunchbox — possibly even new classmates.

In college, back to school means something entirely different: a new dorm room or possibly a new apartment; new courses to take in disciplines you may not yet know anything about. On many campuses, fall also means the start of a hectic round of partying. Schools with Greek scenes may kick off sorority and fraternity rush with dances and parties.

The first sorority, Alpha Delta Pi, was founded in 1851 at Wesleyan College in Macon, Georgia. It was a social organization, of course, but it wasn't just a social organization. Sororities aimed to help young women learn how to be leaders: sorority membership helped young women gain confidence, and the social service projects that were central to sorority life helped teach young women that they had an obligation to give something back to society.

Some sororities also had an explicitly Christian purpose. Most of the founding members of Alpha Delta Pi were the daughters of Methodist bishops and ministers. The Alpha Delta Pi "creed" — a term which itself echoes Christian language — is based on a speech that ADP Grand President Carolee Strock Stanard gave in 1948, and it included this explicitly Christian affirmation: "I believe that the principles established by our founders in 1851 are enduring attributes, exemplifying the highest ideals of Christian womanhood."

Today, of course, sororities are quite different. Though civic service remains central to sororities, it would be hard to say that sorority life today exemplifies "the highest ideals of Christian womanhood." More and more, the social scene at sororities revolves around very worrying activities: drinking, sex, and an obsession with body image that fosters serious eating disorders.

In 2002, reporter Alexandra Robbins went undercover as a sorority sister, and her resulting book, Pledged, is essential reading for anyone who is in, or who is considering rushing, a sorority. She recounts a very disturbing amount of social sin, from excessive drinking, to promiscuous sex, to rampant bulimia, to an unchecked consumerism that pressures sorority sisters to spend, spend, spend. Whether or not your college is home to sororities and fraternities, it is likely home to a thriving party scene, where the pressures of Greek life may well play themselves out.

The Story of Genevieve

If you're considering rushing, or just grappling with a party scene that seems overwhelming, you might consider the experience of a recent college grad whom I'll call Genevieve. Genevieve's mother and aunts had all been members of sororities. So when she went off to college at, let's call it, Excellent U, she too assumed that she would rush. She also became a regular at a campus Christian organization, and, at first, she didn't see any conflict between the two. In fact, both offered her a good way, at a giant school, to make a tight-knit group of friends.

Genevieve expected that some of her sorority sisters would have different sexual mores than she — but that was nothing new. Some of Genevieve's high school friends had been downright promiscuous, and Genevieve was comfortable with her own commitment to chastity. She never felt too much pressure to have sex, and her friends seemed to respect her decision.

But the sorority rush scene came with other pressures that Genevieve hadn't anticipated. For starters, all the parties Genevieve attended during rush were drenched with alcohol. "I knew there would be some drinking, of course," she said, "but I'd never really equated being a sorority sister with being a fish, and that's about how it felt."

What really shook Genevieve was the pre-gaming — her roommates knocking back a few quick shots before heading out to a party. Why? Well, it's cheaper to drink at home than at a party with a cash bar, and, as Genevieve says, "My roommates didn't seem to necessarily enjoy going to these parties. They were sort of ill at ease about going, and they thought the alcohol would help loosen them up and make them seem more fun."

Definitely troubling. I don't know about you, but I definitely don't want my social life to revolve around events that I can't bring myself to attend sober.

Different churches, of course, have different views on alcohol. Some churches are completely opposed to all use of alcohol. Other churches accept the moderate use of alcohol. Certainly, immoderate use of alcohol doesn't have a place in the Christian life (it doesn't glorify God to lose control of one's faculties), nor does underage drinking (Christians ought to follow the law of their land unless it contradicts the imperatives of the Gospel).

And all of us can agree that Jesus wants us to embrace the really real; He wants us to become our truest selves, new creatures. So it's hard to imagine the scenario in which Jesus smiles on when gals like Genevieve's roommates drink in order to mask and hide their real selves. When Genevieve's roommates, in other words, "pre-gamed," they were drinking because they thought the alcohol would fortify them during an evening of parties at which they didn't really feel comfortable, parties which, perhaps, they didn't really want to attend. The pre-gaming was part and parcel of those women's becoming further estranged from themselves.

Genevieve felt some pressure to join in the wild drinking, but then she realized what all the alcohol was really about. "These girls were drinking to excess because they felt they couldn't face rush parties without the 'aid' of alcohol. It became clear to me pretty quickly," says Genevieve, "that I didn't want my social life to involve getting drunk so that I could attend parties at which I wouldn't feel comfortable sober."

Amen.

Genevieve also said she felt pressured, during rush, to spend money she didn't have, on clothes and manicures. "I came to college with maybe 3 outfits that would have been appropriate for parties. I figured I could just wear them over and over." But when Genevieve saw some of her new friends going shopping and pulling out a different outfit for every evening's outings, she felt sartorially inadequate. "I found myself thinking that I should either get a part time job, or just use plastic, and fill my closet with outfits I'd only wear once or twice." Genevieve also found herself feeling all sorts of crazy resentments. "I knew I was beginning to lose it when I started ranting at my mom for not having a more high-powered career — a career that could have provided me with a huge allowance and wardrobe."

Genevieve's Story, Part II

By now, a few readers are probably wondering what the bottom line is: Maybe Christians shouldn't join sororities? Maybe Christians should never attend a party, and should spend their weekends locked in the library studying?

Well, I don't draw either of those conclusions. And neither did Genevieve. The fact is, there's not a necessary conflict between sorority life and Christian life. Genevieve decided that she would join a sorority, but she would do it on her terms. "I was very upfront that I was a Christian. I was upfront that I wasn't interested in sex, or in pre-gaming, and that I wasn't going to make something superficial like having an enviable wardrobe my top priority."

Once she'd made those commitments to herself, and made them clear to her new sisters, Genevieve found that she really enjoyed sorority life. She liked the way a sorority offered a large circle of friends. She liked the way it connected her to generations of women. "Now that I'm out of college and living in a new city, I've found that my sorority connections have really helped me. I've connected with women of all ages, from 19 to 90, who were members of the same sorority."

And in fact, Genevieve found that her sorority was an unexpected mission field, full of constant, ongoing evangelism. "I wasn't the only girl in my sorority who wasn't obsessed with sex and shopping — there was a definite cohort of us. But it's still fair to say that the way I lived my life was different from many of my sisters. And they noticed. And they asked me about it."

By her sophomore year, Genevieve was leading a Bible study in her sorority house. "Actually, the ideals of community and service that attract a lot of girls to sororities are a great foundation for sharing the Gospel."

C O F F E E  S H O P

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People join sororities because they don't want to be alone — and that's a great starting point for an invitation to enter into a relationship with Jesus and become part of the body of Christ.