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How Great a Debtor

To Get Out of Debt, Try Giving Money Away

It might sound funny to suggest that a good way to get out of debt is to give money away, but I'm going to do it anyway: Tithing is key to everyone's financial and spiritual well-being. I was challenged by a pastor to begin tithing shortly after I was baptized. I was a 21-year-old graduate student living on a stipend of $8,000 a year. No, you did not read that incorrectly. And yet my pastor was telling me to give away $800 a year! His exact words were, "Try it for a year. I promise by the end of the year, you'll love giving money away."

He was right. For starters, there is an almost immediate psychological benefit to tithing. When I started giving money away, I stopped feeling like a broke victim — I felt empowered. I felt a joyful, excited rush every time I wrote out a check to a church or a charity organization. I was no longer a starving grad student. I was a benefactor!

When you give money to your church, you're not merely contributing to the salary of the church staff (though that's important, too). You are also learning that you don't own your money in the first place. Tithing is a tool God gives us for learning that all is gift. And that lesson is a great first step in revamping financial habits that have been taking their cues from Visa, not from Scripture and the church.

How to Get Out of Credit Card Debt

In addition to tithing, there are, I think, two steps to getting out of credit card debt. The first is paying the bank the money you owe them. The second is figuring out what is going on psychologically, emotionally, and spiritually that led you into credit card debt in the first place.

Simply paying the money back is, though daunting, not all that hard once you decide to do it — at least, not as hard as plumbing the depths of your soul to figure out what led you into debt. A few simple steps can help:

• Cut up your credit cards. Seriously. If you don't have them, you can't go into debt to credit card companies.
• Figure out what you've been spending money on, and determine what you can cut out. Note the verb "can." Don't determine what you want to cut out, or what you can cut out painlessly. Determine what you can cut out — that great pair of boots you just bought, the trips to the movies. You can probably cut back on gas. When you think about it, you'll realize that you can pretty much cut out everything other than food, tampons, toothpaste, medicine, and, if you drive, car insurance.
• Sketch out a budget that allows you to pay off your debt quickly, paying at least three times your minimum payment each month. If you want to get serious about getting out of debt, consider taking a temporary part-time job — waiting tables, say — and turning every dime you earn over to the credit card company. When your debt is paid off, you can quit.
• Consider talking to your parents. Your parents may not be in a position to help you pay off your debt (and, in my opinion, perhaps they shouldn't, even if they can). But they can help you figure out a plan to climb out of debt, and they can help you stick to the plan you devise. And, most important, they may be able to help you figure out how you got into credit card debt in the first place. (If you don't feel like mom is the right person to discuss this with, consider an aunt, or a campus pastor, or an adult in your church whom you trust and respect.)

Financial Myths We Ladies Fall For

This, of course, leads us to the second plank of debt-free living: figuring out why we racked up debt in the first place.

For starters, ever since we were in the womb, society has been telling us that we gals are defined by our shopping habits. Beginning around the time of the American Revolution, women began to be identified with shopping. Political theorists of the day cast men as hearty, self-sacrificial producers, but painted women as luxurious creatures who consumed, rather than produced. So more than two hundred years of history, then, tell us that women like to shop. We've all seen those tiny, kindergarten-sized pink t-shirts that proclaim Born To Shop. Do fashionistas design such togs for boys? No way.

Even when we enter the world of work, things stay the same. Women still earn about 78 cents to a man's dollar, but we spend about twice as much outfitting ourselves to go to work! (Men don't purchase stockings, make-up, or countless pairs of earrings.)¹ While guys certainly struggle with credit card debt, reigning in spending can be even harder for women since we are socialized to "luv" shopping.

As women, we suffer from an additional delusion: the idea that we don't need to learn how to be financially responsible adults because after college, we're sure to get married, and Hubby will have all the finances figured out.

Gals, it ain't so.

You may, of course, get married right after college — though an increasing number of Americans don't. And you may marry someone who earns more than you — though in 2003, the Bureau of Labor Statistics reported that in about a quarter of American marriages, wives earn more than husbands.² Even if you do marry young and marry rich, you still need to be financially responsible, because marriage is about teamwork. One spouse may be earning most of the family's income, but both partners need to be able to think clearly and talk honestly about finances. It isn't fair to yourself or your future mate to assume that he will take care of all your financial woes.

Misplaced Treasures

To truly root out credit card debt, we have to fearlessly scrutinize how we got in debt in the first place.

Money is a very powerful symbol — it might, in fact, be the most powerful symbol in American society. For some people money means freedom; for other people, security; for others, love. It symbolizes power, sexiness, success, and, both literally and metaphorically, worth.

C O F F E E  S H O P

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Do you believe that excessive debt may be a spiritual problem?

Join the discussion!

We often buy the lie that we are someone special when we have something special. You and your three best friends may have had very different reasons for getting into credit card debt. Spending, even if you were spending money you didn't have, may have made you feel like an adult. Whipping out the plastic may have given you a moment of comfort when you felt lonely. But at the root of credit card debt is misplaced trust, for there where our treasure is, so our hearts are also.

So cut up the plastic, and focus your gaze on the One who has already paid your greatest debt.