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The Practice of Gratitude

The Stressful Life

College is fun and all, but it’s no walk in the park.

You have the day-to-day stresses of finding time for homework and all those extracurricular activities. Then there are the less-often, but even crazier anxieties of midterms and finals. And let's not even talk about those in-the-back-of-your-mind questions that are likely to throw you into some sort of existential funk if you're not careful: Am I in the right major? Who should I marry? What will I do with myself after I graduate?

Like I said, college can be stressful.

Even though I'm recently out of college, I still have stuff to worry about. Whenever I get all stressed out about something, I turn to Philippians 4:6-7 — "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Recently, I've had to go to this verse more often than I'd prefer.

Skiing Stresses and Dental Doom

OK, so my life isn't that hard. But I did have to find a dentist¹ this month. Nothing against teeth doctors or anything, but they're always poking around my mouth and telling me how lame my enamel is and why I get so many cavities. That, and I hate the smell of their latex gloves — the aroma of doom. Oh, and their services always cost way more than I think they should. A necessary evil, those dentists.²

Can you feel the anxiety levels rising? But wait — there's more.

As lame as it sounds, deciding on which ski pass to get for this winter's skiing season was a chore. I stressed about it all Labor Day weekend. It's not just about where you're going skiing, but with whom and for how much. That last one is an especially big deal to me. I want to be the best steward of the money God's given me. While I'm certainly not morally opposed to having fun — I am going skiing this winter — I am highly aware that the amount I spend on this skiing habit could probably feed a small village in Africa for week or two. So I must choose wisely.

As you can see, these choices were seriously stressing me out. I know this sounds silly, but I even lost a night or two of sleep in the process. So I went straight to Philippians 4:6-7.

But this time, I just couldn't get past one particular phrase, toward the end of verse 6 — with thanksgiving.

Call me crazy, but I've never really understood the connection between my being thankful and my anxieties being assuaged — which is probably why I've always breezed by this phrase before. But not this time. It was like I stumbled into some sort of exegetical quicksand from which I could not escape.

Let's just say my interest was piqued.

An Attitude of Gratitude

Being an academic at heart, I decided to do a little research on this topic of thanksgiving.

As it turns out, Paul's exhortation to the Philippians isn't nearly as arbitrary as I thought. You anxiety-ridden college students might be interested to know that even secular academicians agree with the apostle. Apparently, expressing gratitude isn't just a biblical mandate. Its benefits are scientifically proven, too.

In his book, The Paradox of Choice, Barry Schwartz, professor of Social Theory and Social Action at Swarthmore College, says,
"[I]ndividuals who regularly experience and express gratitude are physically healthier, more optimistic about the future, and feel better about their lives than those who do not. Individuals who experience gratitude are more alert, enthusiastic, and energetic than those who do not, and they are more likely to achieve personal goals."³

Schwartz continues:

We can vastly improve our subjective experience by consciously striving to be grateful more often for what is good about a choice or an experience, and to be disappointed less by what is bad about it.⁴

In other words, the amount of anxiety we feel is, to a certain degree, inversely proportional to the gratitude we express.

Now, as Christians we aren't merely concerned with our "subjective experience," that is, how we feel about life. Our primary concern should be whether or not our lives glorify Christ, regardless of how we feel about our circumstances. But clearly, part of bringing glory to Him is expressing thankfulness. As Scripture tells us, and the research corroborates, we can indeed choose an "attitude of gratitude."

Life Doesn't Owe Me a Thing

After pondering this idea of thanksgiving, I've started to notice that when I'm not expressing thanks to God for all the blessings He's given me, I start to develop a sort of entitlement complex — not unlike those kids on MTV's "My Super Sweet 16." OK, so hopefully I'm a little different. But if I am, it's only in degree, not in kind. I certainly pitch my own fits when life doesn't go my way.

So choosing to be grateful is beginning to make a little bit more sense. In a way, thanksgiving reorients my expectations. It helps me realize life doesn't really owe me a thing. In fact, Scripture shows all of us we really don't deserve anything in this life. Nowhere in the Bible does God guarantee us a positive "subject experience" in exchange for following Him. In fact, Scripture ensures us that we will encounter trials. James 1:2, the entire book of Job, the lives of countless martyred saints — they all make this fact abundantly clear.

Expressing gratitude also reminds me God isn't giving me what I do deserve for my sin, that is, eternal separation from Him.

If I'm being honest, I have to say God truly has blessed me. I mean, I'm a privileged American with a great job and amazing friends and a supportive family. I could just as easily have been born in Sub-Saharan Africa to parents who've died of AIDS. Or I could be a member of the Dalit caste in India with absolutely no civil rights. Or I could be living in one of any number of countries whose governments persecute Christians.

No wonder Philippians 4:6-7 commands us to give thanks. It hits our life's reset button. It reminds us that we aren't owed anything. It reminds us that "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father ..."⁵ Giving thanks raises my sites a little. Instead of focusing on all the difficulties in my life, both petty and significant, I begin to realize how much God has truly blessed me.

Thank God for Dental Care

So maybe I should apply this thanksgiving thing to my life.

Let's start with the ski pass situation. What could I choose to be thankful for when it looks like all my friends are getting the hook-up with two-for-one deals? For starters, I have some great ski gear I procured for a really good price. And then there's the fact that ever since I can remember I've wanted to live in Colorado and ski as often as possible. And here I am, living in Colorado, able to go skiing every weekend (if I were masochistic like that).

And what about having seven — wait, no, make that eight — cavities?⁶ Well, I'm definitely thankful I have insurance. Also, my doctor is also giving me $100 off this first visit. And to be completely honest, I have to be thankful I live in a country with incredibly accessible dental services — and that those services are much more advanced than they were, say, back in George Washington's time. If I lived back then, George and I would be swapping stories about our wooden teeth for sure.

As you can see, in both of these situations there's plenty I can be grateful for. I just had to look for it.

Just Do It

We all have reasons to be thankful, even the less fortunate among us. While I don't like going through anxiety-inducing situations, they're peanuts compared to how life could be, were not God watching over me.

C O F F E E  S H O P

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How do you deal with your anxieties?

Join the discussion!

If you find you're struggling with worry — that biology project giving you an ulcer? — then give gratitude a try. I know it might feel a little canned at first. But like anything you want or need to be good at, it just takes practice.