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The Dry and Weary Land

Thirsty for the Living Water

O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water. (Psalm 63:1, NIV)

David wrote Psalm 63 when he was in the Desert of Judah. After spending time in the intense desert sun, he probably knew what it meant to be thirsty, to long for a drop of water to fall across his parched lips. As David wrote about his desire for God, he was able to harness that overwhelming thirst he experienced in the desert. He felt a longing for the Lord that was as intense as his body's need for water.

Lately when I read this passage, I am disheartened because I realize I am not all that thirsty for God. I don't ache for Him, I don't feel for Him the way David seemed to. And I'm not sure what to do about it.

Even-Keeled — The Way I Like It

Now, I've never been a super emotional person. Unless we're talking about tobyMac — then I get excited. He's so my favorite! But most of the time I'm fairly even-keeled. Even when I worry (which I am prone to do), I do so in a quiet, contemplative way. Screaming in anger, sobbing uncontrollably or shouting with glee just aren't usually the way I do things. For instance, when I applied for my job with TrueU, I really hoped I would get it because, in a way, it was my dream job. When I found out that I was hired, I was excited, but I didn't jump up and down or anything. I just felt relief and a quiet joy.¹

So even though I've never been necessarily ruled by my emotions, I've realized that lately I am lacking any kind of intense feeling in my life. For some reason, there seems to be a wall keeping me from experiencing God, relationships and so on. This I find disconcerting.

Feelings are Sketchy

To be honest, I have always been a bit skeptical of emotion. When people let their feelings control them or even influence them too much, I see it as a weakness. I believe decisions should be made based on reason and substantial thought about the pros and cons of all possibilities. Emotions are fickle, unreliable and shifty. They are not to be trusted. But I'm beginning to believe that my skepticism of emotion has directly influenced my relationship with the Lord.

It is easy for me to love God with my mind. I can read through the Old and New Testaments and see the connection between them. I love studying biblical culture, the Hebrew mindset and worldview apologetics — fascinating! Even memorizing Scripture comes easy to me; I have hidden much of God's word in my heart.

It is much more difficult for me to love God with my heart. When you experience God — when you have a powerful prayer time, or when you break down during worship — you can tell people about it, but unless they have experienced Him as well, they probably won't quite understand. Loving and experiencing God with your heart is a mysterious, unexplainable thing. It's much easier for me to stick with things I can prove to myself and to others.

Prove It to Me!

I don't think I'm completely to blame for my mistrust of emotion and experience. I'm pretty sure my culture has had an influence on me.

Our society today values that which we can prove. If you do not provide me with something testable, then I have no obligation to believe you. We believe in the scientific process because, through it, we can know things objectively.²

All of us demonstrate this over and over again in our Coffee Shop conversations — especially in the Academics and Nerds' Corner categories. But interestingly, it has bled over into most of our other discussions, including those about modesty, homosexuality and relationships. We refuse to believe what the other users are saying unless they can cite a study that proves their point.

This way of thinking has affected our faith as well. If you do not provide me with a convincing apologetic for your religion, denomination or biblical interpretation, then I'll probably just scoff at your ideas. And don't even try to prove anything to me by explaining your "experience" with God. Then you'll be worse than a sloppy apologist — you'll just be plain crazy.³

This way of thinking (while often useful) is just that: a way of thinking. In fact, it's a Western way of thinking. If we take a look at the biblical writers, and Easterners as a whole, they seemed to value emotion much more than our culture does.

The Passion of the Hebrews

I have been told that if you go to an orthodox Jewish classroom in which they are discussing Scripture, the debate gets pretty heated. Someone is arguing with a person on the opposite side of the classroom, the teacher is answering a question from somebody in the back of the room, and somehow, they're all able to learn. Although not necessarily orderly, they are nothing if not passionate. They discuss things with vigor, with conviction — the people of God are known for their chutzpah.*

We can see this passion all throughout the Bible. We see it in God's tender love for Israel (Hosea 11), in Moses' righteous anger when the Hebrews were caught in sin (Exodus 32), and Job's grief at the loss of all he had (Job 1). There is no failure to express or validate emotion in the Bible. In fact, to the Hebrew mind, emotion is a useful and trustworthy thing. In his book, Our Father Abraham, Marvin R. Wilson talks about the difference between the stoic people of the West and the passionate people of the East:

The Hebrews — both men and women — were able to affirm their full humanity. They gave vent unashamedly to their feelings, for each emotion had "a time" appropriate for its expression: being angry, crying, laughing, singing, feasting, dancing, hand clapping, shouting, embracing, and loving (see Eccl. 3:1-8). The warrior-king David, a skillful musician and poet, provides a notable biblical example of one giving open expression to both extreme excitability and deep depression. David's emotions ran with the flow of his life.⁴

The people of God had (and still have) a mindset that was willing to acknowledge the value of emotion and experience. This recognition of feelings is an important part of our spiritual walk that we should not ignore.

Loving God With Our Hearts

Now, I know plenty of emotional Americans, so I'm not saying that this is a problem for everyone. I also know plenty of people who make unwise decisions based on their emotions — not a good thing. My point is not that we should all start letting our feelings control what we do.

My point is that, at least in my life, I tend not to give my feelings any credit. And when I lack emotion in my relationship with the Lord, I should seek out ways to draw close to Him, to feel for Him again. Interestingly, this article (like most of mine) comes back to my favorite Scripture passage: Matthew 22:37-40. Roc Bottomly, in his book The Promised Power, explains how the greatest commandment requires us to love God with all that we are:

Whichever part of the Bible we examine, it is clear that God wants our life with Him to be passionate. He wants us to be intellectually passionate — in awe and eager to understand all He has revealed about Himself and His plans through His word. We are to love Him with all of our minds. He desires us to be devotedly passionate — willing to obey, ready to sacrifice, determined to persevere at all costs. We are to love Him with all of our strength. And He wants us to be emotionally passionate — full of irrepressible joy, deep affection, and enthusiastic wonder. We are to love Him with all of our hearts.⁵

C O F F E E  S H O P

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Do you tend to love God more with your heart or with your mind?

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When we focus on loving God in all the ways He has asked us to, we will be able to praise Him more fully. And if you're struggling with feeling emotion for the Lord, He can provide you with a soft heart that will feel for Him: "I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh" (Ezekiel 11:19).