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Defining the 'U' in Community

Road Trips and Marshmallows

Just so you all know, I pretty much write about whatever I am learning in my life. I am given a blank page every month, and I am supposed to fill it with some kind of wisdom. Fortunately, God usually provides some learning experience (i.e. me doing things my own way, failing, and then realizing that God's way is better) for me to write about.

I am constantly realizing that the way I approach things in my everyday life relates directly to my worldview — how I respond to situations shows me a lot about what I really believe about God. So something happens, God humbles me enough to share it with you all, and hopefully I attempt to glorify Him a bit more through the way I think and live.

I'm sure you're glad you got to read that boring paragraph of background information. So anyway, right now I am learning about the concept of community. It seems pretty elementary, but when done biblically, I don't think it's simple at all.

We probably all have a slightly different idea of what good community looks like. As college students, you're experiencing unique community — you're stuffed into a dorm with a bunch of other people your age, bonded together by tasteless cafeteria food, homework-happy professors and late nights of studying/procrastinating.

When I've pictured good community in the past, I usually think of myself in a co-ed group of really great friends. We get together on summer evenings to make S'mores, and we enjoy frequent road trips together. We can talk with one another about the "deep stuff," and we joke and laugh together as we skip along holding hands ... or something.

Obviously, in this scenario of good community my happiness is very important. If I am experiencing the wonderful fellowship of believers, I know that I am pretty pleased with the way things are going. My friends are always looking out for me, I feel supported, and I am comfortably content. Lovely.

The Body of Christ

What I've been learning lately is that I've had a few misconceptions about what constitutes wonderful community, and one of them is the idea that everyone should be best friends. After all, good community meant that I had great fellowship with those around me, and I could only have good fellowship with people who thought all my jokes were funny. (They are hilarious, by the way.)

But I've decided that one of the best — and most difficult — ways to live in community is to spend time with people who are not exactly like me. Knowing the way God works, it is most likely that He doesn't encourage fellowship with one another for the sole purpose of our own satisfaction. He probably has something for us to learn through community.

Romans 12 talks a lot about how believers are all part of the same body, but we all have different roles. We have each been given gifts that we are to use for God's glory. As believers who are striving toward the same goal, we should appreciate one another's gifts. Instead of thinking that everyone should do things the way that we would, we are to appreciate the diversity that God has placed within the Body.

Once I realized this beautiful aspect of community, I congratulated myself for being so holy and learning this valuable lesson about the variety of community — done and done. Then I happened across Ephesians 4.

Giving It All We've Got

Paul (the thorn in my flesh) is talking to the Ephesians about being united as a body. He urges them to recognize each other's individual callings. He also tells them to "[b]e completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace" (vv. 2-3, NIV).

Now, I am very good at knowing when others need to make an effort to be humble or patient. I can point out when someone should be better at bearing with me in love. And, honestly, the Lord often convicts me about playing my part as well. But what got to me when reading this passage is the command to make every effort. I may be completely justified in the fact that I do just enough, but have I done all I can to be united with my brothers and sisters in Christ? Am I completely humble and gentle?

Now, I cannot control how other people respond to me. I cannot make them be what they should. All I can do is what I have been asked. And uncomfortably for me, I have been asked to do a lot. I am asked to get my attitude right no matter what the other person is doing. I am to love at all times. This love for others — whether or not they love me back — is part of my responsibility in encouraging biblical community.

Consumed With … Myself

I think that perhaps the Scriptures so often encourage us to love one another and to be united because it helps us take the focus off of ourselves. In Blue Like Jazz, Donald Miller talks about how difficult it was to live in community with others because of his own selfishness:

Living in community made me realize one of my faults: I was addicted to myself. All I thought about was myself. The only thing I really cared about was myself. I had very little concept of love, altruism, or sacrifice. I discovered that my mind is like a radio that picks up only one station, the one that plays me … The most difficult lie I have ever contended with is this: Life is a story about me.¹

It's very true, you know. At least in my life. I am so self-focused, it's ridiculous. And so, part of what community teaches us is to slowly, painfully begin to think about others, to forgive others, to bear with one another.

Now I suppose that once you're married, you learn a lot about bearing with one another in love. But as single college students, your current call is to love your roommate or the people in your hall. You are called to make every effort you can to love your neighbor as yourself, even when it's not the most personally beneficial thing to do. Taking the focus off of ourselves is part of living in community.

Gotcho' Back

Right now in my Bible study, we are learning about biblical discipleship. We get a lot of our material from Ray Vanderlaan's videos² in which he talks about the important role that community played in the disciples' lives. I suppose they had to be good at community. They followed Jesus around for three years — they left their homes, families and friends and they lived with one another. They apparently knew what good community looked like, and they carried that into their lives after Jesus ascended into heaven. Check it out:

All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved (Acts 2:44-47).

These believers knew how to live in community. They made sure that each of them was taken care of. They were a lot more giving than I am — they sold their possessions and gave to anyone in need; I have a hard time tithing to my church.

The biggest eye opener for me in this passage, and the biggest thing I think we Christians fail at is this: "And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved."

I realize that I have often cocooned myself within Christian community. I have used my desire for fellowship with other believers as an excuse to ignore those who do not believe the words of Jesus. It seems as though this is the opposite of what we are supposed to be doing as a biblical community.

Christians: Pagan Repellers

According to Acts 2, the believers had fellowship with one another. They were a close-knit community that loved Jesus. And they did not hide themselves from the world. These believers were united in a common goal — the making of disciples. Something about the way they lived in community, the way they shared with one another, the way they praised God, drew people into their group — into a relationship with Jesus.

Is that what we're doing in our pursuit of community? Are we thinking about how we can protect ourselves from the world with like-minded fellowship, or are we banding together, uniting under a common goal and then doing something to reach those around us? Christian community is supposed to be attractive to non-believers. For whatever reason — selfishness, divisions, superior attitudes — we often seem to repel them instead.

We are called to be united with one another in community. We are to learn how to love one another, and we are to learn to live in such a way that those who do not know Him will want to be added to the number of those who follow the teachings of Jesus.

C O F F E E  S H O P

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What are some of the difficulties associated with achieving biblical community?

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I have begun to realize that community is less about a great group of people who can make me feel loved and important, and more about how I can make an effort to love those around me, and in turn, how we can show Christ's love to those who don't know Him.