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Ask Theophilus: God of the Living

DEM BONES, DEM BONES, DEM DRY BONES

Dear Professor Theophilus:

As you may know, there are some archaeologists who believe that they have found Christ's family tomb, which wouldn't be a problem except that they claim to have found Him in it. A container is carved with the name Yeshua bar Yosef, "Jesus son of Joshua."

I realize that many in the field have anti-biblical biases and so their interpretation of data should be suspect, but I am interested in hearing how you respond to the hype.

Reply

There is no reason whatsoever to think that the Talpiyot ossuary contains the remains of Jesus of Nazareth. Few archaeologists take the claim seriously. "Jesus" was a common name in that era; so was "Joseph." Possibly the ossuary contains the remains of another Jesus, such as "Jesus also called Justus," who is mentioned by the Apostle Paul as an associate in Colossians 4:11. The name on the ossuary might not even be "Jesus." One of the scholars who was interviewed in the documentary thinks that the name on the ossuary should be read "Hanun."

It's good to bear in mind that the media always air poorly-researched, sensationalistic stories that try to debunk the Resurrection during the season of preparation before Easter. You can set your calendar by it. But our God is not God of the dead, but of the living.¹

Peace be with you,
PROFESSOR THEOPHILUS

BORED ON BREAK

Dear Professor Theophilus:

Do you have any practical advice for college students who go home on college holidays and breaks? On campus, there is always class to attend, people to meet, work to do — all these are opportunities for ministry. But at home during break, I don't do much, except for church twice a week. It's all too easy to lounge around all day, sleep in, and watch TV, even though that's obviously unsatisfactory. A complication in my own case is that my family has moved to a part of the country new to me. At the new church, the people closest to my age are a lot younger, and in the new neighborhood, I won't have anyone I can hang out with.

I want to make the best of my time, but breaks can be up to three weeks long. Other than reading my Bible and praying daily, how can I make the most of the time I have off from school? Help!

Reply

The funny thing about your letter is that after asking a great question, you come close to ruling out my answer. Other than prayer and meditation, you ask, what can you do? What I want to answer is: Why not pray and meditate? Why not think of your school break as your own personal spiritual retreat?

I know the idea seems crazy. One thing that makes it seem crazy is childhood habit. When we were small, our parents taught us quick morning and evening prayers like "Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep," just to introduce us to the idea of praying to God. Even though we may have learned more adult forms of prayer since then, the idea persists that prayer and spiritual reading are things that we do for a little while at special times, then finish. It seems unimaginable to "pray without ceasing," as the Apostle Paul urges.

Another reason is that some of the forms of prayer that we have learned as adults are themselves too limited. For example, we may think that prayer is all talking. Sure, there may be many things to talk about — we praise God, we thank Him, we confess our sins, we intercede for other people, we ask Him for what we need — but pretty soon we run out of things to say.

My suggestion, then, is twofold. First, learn more about the riches of Christian traditions of prayer and meditation. The days just before Easter, when this Ask Theophilus column will appear, are an especially good time to begin. For example, try the spiritual exercise called the Stations of the Cross. There are both Protestant and Catholic versions of this exercise, but the basic elements are the same in both: One by one, you meditate prayerfully on each of the events leading up to and including the Crucifixion. First comes the condemnation of Jesus to death, next the carrying of the Cross, next when He fell the first time, and so on. Or you might try the spiritual exercise called lectio divina, which I've mentioned often in these columns. The idea is to read a passage of Scripture — but slowly, thoughtfully, as a prayer. This is a good week to begin lectio divina, too, because you can start with the Passion story. In Matthew, for example, that's in chapters 26-27; you can save chapter 28 for Easter morning. In John, it's longer.

Second, for those times that you aren't praying and meditating, do something useful. Offer the work to Christ while you're doing it, so that the work itself becomes a form of prayer. I'm not talking about paid employment. Not many employers would want to hire you for only a few weeks anyway. The place to start looking is your home. Take over one of the family responsibilities! What's stopping you from, say, making all the family meals during your break from school? And yes, I said "making," not "helping"! In the time left over from that, what's keeping you from volunteering to make sandwiches every morning in the downtown Christian ministry to street people? The traditional Christian ways to use spare time is in works of love. I guarantee that you won't have time to be bored.

How fortunate you are that because you're still in college, you can go on a personal spiritual retreat every spring and winter break and every holiday! Thousands of graduates would jump at the chance.

Peace be with you,
PROFESSOR THEOPHILUS

GUYS GETTING MAD, GIRL GETTING SAD

Dear Professor Theophilus:

I am a girl who has made the choice that dating is not for me. Only one of my friends sees things like I do. Is there a tactful way to talk with my other friends about the issue without making them upset?

The last time I spoke with a friend — a male friend, who had recently been dumped by someone — he became furious and told me to stop scorning him. He said that if I didn't care, I should just stop writing to him. I am beginning to wonder if words are even helpful.

Reply

My dear, if you've decided that dating is not for you, then it's easy to talk about it. You just say "It's not for me." There is no duty to date; you don't need to justify or defend yourself. If someone disagrees, it's none of his business.

Here's the problem: That's not quite what you're doing. You may have given up dating, but you haven't given up flirting. By flirting I don't mean batting your eyes and saying cute things. I mean all of the things that young women do to attract the interest of young men — like carrying on deep email correspondences with them.

Maybe you consider your male friend's anger unreasonable because your friendship with him "wasn't romantic." There's only one problem with that line of reasoning: He obviously thought that it was. From the sound of it, he wasn't frustrated with you because you don't want to date, but because you don't even though you act as though you do. The technical term for that is "teasing."

So if you don't want to date, that's fine, but don't send mixed signals: Don't date, don't flirt, don't tease. It may take some self-examination to know when you are doing those things.

Peace be with you,
PROFESSOR THEOPHILUS

MIXED MOTIVES

Dear Professor Theophilus:

I'm considering military service, but I have a dilemma: Mixed motives. I believe that the cause is brave and noble, and I believe that I have the qualities it takes to do well. Those motives are good. The problem is that I don't just want to be brave and noble; I also want to be considered brave and noble by other people. That motive is bad. Should the fact that bad motives are mixed in with his good ones prevent a man from doing the right thing?

Reply

I don't know whether it is your calling to be a soldier, but fortunately, you don't ask me that question. The question you do ask, I can answer. Because of sin, we almost always have mixed motives for doing the right thing. Rather than saying "I'd better not do the right thing because my motives aren't utterly pure," we should say "I'd better do the right thing because it's right — but with the help of God's grace, I'll try to have better motives."

You're also being a little too hard on yourself. God made us social beings; if you have wise friends, then a moderate desire for the good opinion of your friends isn't bad. In fact, a person who is utterly indifferent to what anyone else thinks of him is heading for trouble. If you didn't care whether your friends considered you an honorable man or a fool, then I'd worry.

Of course, desire for the good opinion of people of good judgment can become twisted so that it turns into a bad motive: I might crave my own glory instead of God's, I might pursue the good opinion of dunces instead of the wise, I might become the sort of person whose favorite subject is My Wonderful Self. In itself, though, there is nothing wrong for wanting affirmation from those who know what is worth affirming.

Peace be with you,
PROFESSOR THEOPHILUS

JUST A FORMALITY

Dear Professor Theophilus:

Last Sunday night I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, so we will be getting married this summer. Would you please repeat for me some reasons not to have sex before that? Since the engagement has already started, the marriage ceremony seems like a mere formality. Compared with our desire to grow in intimacy, waiting for the ceremony doesn't seem like a very strong reason. I realize obedience to God is always a good reason, but I think there has to be more meaningful reasons as to why this obedience is significant and good.

Reply

Congratulations on your engagement. Many years and many children! I'm glad you asked your question, but it contains two faulty premises. The first faulty premise is that the marriage ceremony is merely a formality; the second is that having sex prematurely would strengthen your relationship.

You're thinking like this: "Since we've already committed ourselves to each other, we're like married already. The ceremony will be just a symbol of what has already taken place." No, you're confusing the state of marriage with the state of preparation for it. That's like confusing pregnancy with being born. You wouldn't call birth a mere symbol; why then call marriage a mere symbol? Both events are dramatic crossovers into completely new conditions. Preparation for the new condition takes months, but the crossover takes place all at once.

Unfortunately, sex undermines this preparation. In effect, you and your fiancée would be using the engagement to train yourselves not to take the condition of marriage seriously. It's no accident that people who have lived together or had sex together before marriage have higher rates of breakup afterward. The sexual union of husband and wife is beautiful and good, but premature sex threatens this good, sowing seeds of later discord.

God isn't an arbitrary tyrant. If we aren't to destroy ourselves, the enormously powerful gifts He has given us have to be handled properly. In itself, sexual fusion is good, but then, so is the nuclear kind. For our good, we had better not enjoy nuclear fusion in the wrong place; for our good, had better not enjoy sexual fusion in the wrong place either. The right place for nuclear fusion is a reactor, and the right place for sexual fusion is the another kind of reactor, called matrimony.

You may want to read my article, "Designed for Sex: What We Lose When We Forget What Sex Is For"*, in which I go into the human sexual design more deeply. The crucial thing to remember is that the Creator and Redeemer of nature has assured us by His own authority that His rules for the use of our sexual powers are given for our joy. If you love Him you will keep His commandments, and if you love your fiancée you will pursue her true good as well as your own. May God give both of you the grace to seek purity and find it.

May I suggest a spiritual exercise? Here it is: Psalm 119, read as a prayer, every morning and every night. Give me understanding, that I may keep thy law and observe it with my whole heart. Lead me in the path of thy commandments, for I delight in it. (vv. 34-35.)

Peace be with you,
PROFESSOR THEOPHILUS

C O F F E E  S H O P

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Do you think there's any validity to the claim that archaeologists discovered Jesus' bones?

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