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Darwin and the Difference Between Nikes and Reeboks, Part 1
Nike, Reebok, German wrestlers — what do they have to do with metaphysical issues and Darwin? Blake Roeber explains.
Card-carrying nerds like myself get excited about things most people don't. For example, in August 2003, Reader's Digest published the following anecdote, and I got excited about it:
I was waiting on some costumers at the shoe store where I work when I was interrupted by a very determined woman. Pointing to a sneaker made by Reebok, she asked, "Do you have this in Nike?" (All In A Day's Work, page 40)
"This is funny," you're thinking, "but I can't say I'm excited about it."
Trust me on this — you should be. It's philosophically rich, man.1 It's deep. Whether or not Readers Digest noticed, it's thoroughly metaphysical.2
"Why's it philosophically rich?" you're wondering. "And why's the woman's hand so enormous and her forearm so muscular?"
You'll see the answer to the second question in a moment. To answer the first, let me toss a few questions your direction: Why'd the salesman think the woman was pointing to a sneaker made by Reebok? And even if he was right, what makes the story funny? What's so funny about asking for a Reebok in Nike?3
When You Assume, You Make an … Assumption
Let's make a few assumptions here: First, let's assume the salesman's name was Tom, and let's assume the woman's name was Sharon. Second, let's assume Sharon was pointing to a sneaker, and let's assume this sneaker was made by Reebok. Third, let's assume the sneaker she was pointing to was white, and size 11. Fourth, let's assume that, along with my computer hacking and bow hunting skills, I have drawing skills, and let's assume that Sharon's forearm is so muscular not because I'm a bad drawer, but because she's a 9-foot tall German wrestler.
Given these assumptions, we know there's something at the end of Sharon's finger, and we know this thing has the following characteristics:
- White
- Size 11
- Sneaker
- Made by Reebok
The question is, how did Tom know Sharon was pointing to a sneaker made by Reebok?
The obvious answer is that Tom saw Sharon pointing to a Reebok — he saw her hand, he saw the Reebok, and he saw that her hand was pointing at the Reebok.
Are things really this simple, though?
Of course not.
To see why, consider the following scenarios and try to figure out which two of them aren't like the other two:
- Sharon points to a white, size 11 sneaker made by Reebok and asks, "Do you have this in red?"
- Sharon points to a white, size 11 sneaker made by Reebok and asks, "Do you have this in size 9?"
- Sharon points to a white, size 11 sneaker made by Reebok and asks, "Do you have this in sweatshirt?"
- Sharon points to a white, size 11 sneaker made by Reebok and asks, "Do you have this in Nike?"
What's Darwin Got to Do, Got to Do With It?
You've probably decided that the first and second aren't like the third and fourth. If so, I think you're right. But have you really thought about your decision?
If you have thought about your decision — in particular, if you're at all able to say why the first two aren't like the second two — you're deep into metaphysical issues. And believe it or not, these metaphysical issues are at the heart of the differences between the Darwinian worldview and many of its alternatives.
This Section Talks About My Relationship to Hilary Duff, so Keep Reading
An accidental feature is a feature something just happens to have. For example, I have a short torso, large feet and several gray hairs growing over my left ear. These are all accidental features. It just so happens that I have a small torso, large feet and gray hairs over my left ear, but things could have been different. More importantly, things could have been different and I still would have been me; I would have been who I, in fact, am.
Essential features are the opposite of accidental features. If a feature is an essential one, then the thing that has it doesn't just happen to have it. It has it necessarily. It couldn't fail to have it and be what it, in fact, is. I couldn't fail to have my essential features and be me. In other words, if I somehow lose one of my essential features, then I lose my identity — I become someone (or something) other than myself.
Right now, I have a swollen pinky. Just for fun, suppose that my having a swollen pinky is one of my essential features. Also (and I'm pretty sure these are correct) suppose that my not being a chair is among my essential features, as is my not being Hilary Duff.
Given these suppositions, among my essential features are:
- swollen pinky,
- not a chair,
- not Hilary Duff, either.
And among my accidental features are:
- short torso,
- big feet,
- gray hairs over left ear.
So, had things been different, and had I had a long torso, small feet or no gray hairs over my left ear, I would have still been me. But had I had no swollen pinky, had I been a chair or had I been Hilary Duff, I wouldn't have still been me. I would have been somebody else, or — in the case of the chair — something else.
C O F F E E S H O PSee how all this bears on Sharon's question about the sneaker made by Reebok? In case you don't, read part two. It'll be like a piñata full of hornets — surprising in all the right ways.
- Or woman — I realize that you, the reader, might be a woman. Back^
- In case you don't know what the adjective "metaphysical" means: a book, sentence, idea, et cetera, is metaphysical if it directs your attention to the relationship between reality and appearances. For example, suppose you're unusually paranoid and suspect that your roommate's really a cleverly constructed robot designed to fool you and your friends into thinking that she's a flesh-and-blood person, just like you and me. Because you suspect she's really a robot, even though she appears to be a person, your suspicion is a metaphysical one — it has to do with the relationship between reality and appearances.
Or suppose you guzzle some mysterious bubbling liquid at a party and, as a result, form the belief that you're stuck in the Matrix and that everything you see is really an illusion created by The Machines. In this case, since you believe that you're really hooked up to the Matrix, even though it appears as if you're falling down the stairs at a party, your belief is metaphysical. Again, it has to do with the relationship between reality and appearance. Got it? (If not, do a Google search on the word "metaphysics" and read to your heart's content.) Back^ - Just so you know, Nike™ and Reebok™ are both trademarked. In order to avoid the ugliness of putting a little "™" after every instance of Nike and Reebok, I'm going to count on you to remember this. So, every time you see the words "Nike" and "Reebok," note that they're abbreviations of the words "Nike™" and "Reebok™." Also — and this is the point of the "™" — remember that you can't call your own shoe company "Nike" or "Reebok." You have to call it "Neighkee" or "Reboc" or something clever like that. Back^
Blake Roeber is a graduate student in philosophy at Northern Illinois University, but not for long. After completing his MA in the spring of '08, he'll start a PhD in philosophy at Rutgers.
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